|Photo credit: wiznation.com|
Why? I really have no answer.
When I was younger, I was pretty friendly. I knew almost everybody and most knew me. That was pre-beeper and cellphone days.
Now, I see my classmates' and batchmates' faces and wonder why I have no desire to meet them again after all these decades.
When I was still taking up law, my answer to this was, well, everybody's successful now and would be telling stories of their trips abroad, their families, their cars and jobs. What would I share about? That I have a ton of photocopied cases decided by the Supreme Court? That I was still unmarried and have a love affair with my books?
But now, what is my reason?
A classmate/friend commented that I used to be friendly in high school. I even performed a lot in high school. Now, as I'm growing old, she joked that, "Kung kelan ka tumanda, saka ka naman naging takot sa tao."
I admit, I am anti-social now. I don't like going to events unless I have a part in there - emcee, materials provider, singer, coordinator, name it. I try to avoid them, in fact. I love being invited though. Is it because it's inaccessible for me since I live far away, I don't have a car and it's so hard to commute? Is it because I'm always tired and that events, like reunions, are usually held on weekends, one day of which is my only day to relax? Or because I would have to unnecessarily spend money just to attend an event?
Or, it's just that, it's so hard for me to attend. Period.
And I wish I know why.
So to my friends and family: for all those affairs, reunions, homecomings, events, celebrations that I was absent, I have a perfectly valid reason for not being there. Just please don't ask why. You're still in my heart and I hope I am in yours too.