Six years ago, I was never really sure I was ready for motherhood. But God gave me a little angel so I just have to try real hard to be a good mother. I knew I was in for a lot of sleepless nights, increased expenses, increased threshold for what is icky and what is not. And face them all head-on. Before, I would barf at the thought of washing a little angel's butt, but now, I can even be interrupted from my meal to do it, and go back to my meal once the deed is done. I was already good at multi-tasking before motherhood, but this skill was significantly improved when my little boy came into my life. I can now cook and at the same time play with my kid and in between, I'd review some of his lessons and incorporate them in our play time. But I was never really prepared for the rush of love and emotions concerning my kid.
I am not really sure I am a good mother. I have a lot of shortcomings and there are times that my patience is tried. But I try to do what I can to show him that he is loved. I don't think I spoil him at all. I don't give him all he wants and in fact, I scold him from time to time when he does or says something wrong. I try to explain to me why I get mad at him and it is my hope that he would understand it and realize that despite our "fights", he is so, so loved.
When he looks at me as if I am the greatest thing on Earth (aside from his Transformer toys) fills with me with so much emotions that sometimes I ask the Lord what I did to even deserve such pure love from my child.
Last night, after coming home from my Mama's place, I realized that I forgot my wallet there. It was already evening and I didn't want to go back there to get the coin purse. The little kid was tugging at me so we'd go up the room but I told him, "Wait baby, I forgot my wallet in Mama's house. Baka di ako makapunta sa office bukas kasi wala akong pamasahe. I'll check my bags first to see if meron akong pamasahe bukas ha."
My kid went away and came back a moment later, with his Spongebab coin purse, and with a serious face. He handed me two 25-centavo coins and said, "Mommy, eto na ang pamasahe mo oh".
I don't know what I did to deserve this but I am thankful to the heavens for I am loved.